Interview with Michelle Myers

HalfKorean.com recently had the chance to interview Michelle Myers, 1/2 of the spoken word group, Yellow Rage. Michelle is a founding member of the group, which has been featured on HBO’s Def Poetry Jam and has recently released the album Black Hair, Brown Eyes, Yellow Rage, Vol. 1. She currently resides in S. Jersey and is a doctoral candidate in English at Temple University. We caught up with her on her background, career and personal life in a very interesting conversation. Enjoy!

Please note that HalfKorean.com comments/questions are in BOLD.

BACKGROUND

Where were you born/raised and where have you lived (and where do you live currently)?
I was born in Seoul, South Korea. I have lived in S. Korea, Louisiana, South Jersey, and Philadelphia. I currently live in S. Jersey.

When is your birthday?
February 6, 1972

What is your ethnic mix?
I am Korean/Caucasian. My mother is Korean.

How did your parents meet?
I’m not exactly sure how they met. All I really know is my father was stationed in Korea when he served in the Air Force.

Do you speak Korean at all?
I read, write, and speak Korean very little, very elementary, though I passed my doctoral foreign language exam in Korean with the help of a Korean-English dictionary. 🙂

Do you eat Korean food and what is your favorite?
Of course I eat Korean food!!! My favorite is actually kimchee jigae — yum!!! Then it’d have to be japchae and bi bim bap.

Were you raised “Korean” or influenced by Korean culture??
I think it’s difficult to grow up with even just one Korean parent and not be influenced culturally. And “cultural” could actually pertain to many ways of living, from taking off your shoes when entering the house to eating the food to singing Korean folk songs and so on. But it’s also important for me to recognize and acknowledge that I’m Korean AMERICAN — I grew up in this country and culture and have been just as influenced by it if not more so in some ways.

Do you have any brothers and/or sisters?
I have a brother, Michael, who is a year-and-a-half younger than me.

Have you experienced any racism and/or prejudice growing up?
I think my childhood was not all that different from many other Asian children in the sense that I was called a “chink” and kids used to sing ching chong songs and all that. I think my experience may be different, however, in that being half white and growing up around my white family, I also experienced racism from relatives. I think that’s even more difficult for children to deal with because then they feel they’re not accepted or “safe” anywhere.

Have any identity issues growing up?
I definitely went through a period of self-hate in my adolescence. I really wished I was white and desired to have blond hair and green eyes. I even thought about dying my hair and getting colored contacts, but I never did. My nickname in high school was “Hung Chow” and I felt that my being half-Korean made me an outcast in many ways. When I reached college, the self-hate went in the opposite direction: I wanted to look more Asian, so I dyed my hair black and tried to make my eyes more “slanted” with make-up. It’s really only been in the last couple of years that I’ve accepted my own physical ambiguity and make no apologies for my “looks”. It’s not my fault and it’s nothing I really have control over, so people shouldn’t expect me to make them more comfortable because they don’t know how to identify me.

Did you grow up around other half/mixed Koreans? (Or half/mixed Asians in general)
I grew up in a pretty multicultural community, but there were few Asians. There was another brother-sister who were Japanese/Caucasian who lived in our neighborhood and went to our school, but I think we never were really friends precisely because that’s what everyone expected us to do. So we avoided them, and they avoided us.

Have you been to Korea?
I have not been Korea since I left as a baby.

Just curious, I noticed in the liner notes of the Yellow Rage album that you thank your daughter Myong. How old is she?
My daughter is 5 years old and just started kindergarten. She is named after my mother (which goes against Korean tradition, by the way).

CAREER

What is some of your past/current work?
I have many “jobs”. First, I’m a doctoral candidate (ABD) with Honors status at Temple University in the English Department. My areas of specialization are 19th C. American Literature and 20th C. Asian American and African American Literature. So I am currently finishing my dissertation — trying to anyway — in order to get a Ph.D. I’m an adjunct professor at Temple in the American Studies Department where I teach Asian American Lives and Immigrant Experiences. I’m also an adjunct at Rowan University in the English Department where I teach American Literature and World Literature. The last of my academic jobs is as a Reading and Writing Specialist in the Learning Lab at the Community College of Philadelphia. My “artistic/performance” jobs include performing with Yellow Rage, an arts collective called Asians Misbehavin’, and solo work.

What are your future plans?
I’m pretty happy doing what I do now, but in the future I’d like to have finished my Ph.D. and I also would like for Catzie and me to have published some books and recorded more CDs. I really have no desire to teach anywhere full-time — I pretty much pick my schedule now and I love the freedom that allows me to have.

How did the group “Yellow Rage” start?
This is just a little complicated to explain: “Black Hair, Brown Eyes, Yellow Rage” as an official group was formed in December of 2000. We originally had three members: Catzie, me, and Sapna Shah. We formed the group so we could compete in the Philly leg of the Def Poetry Slam tour. About two months later, Sapna decided to leave the group to focus on medical school, and Catzie and I began performing and touring as “Yellow Rage” in April 2001.
Catzie, Sapna, and I met at a writing workshop offered by the Asian Arts Initiative in Philadelphia during the summer of 2000. We collaborated on the piece “I’m a Woman, Not a Flava” during this workshop and performed it together for the first time at AAI in September 2000.

How did you get involved in spoken word poetry?
I first became interested in spoken word poetry when I saw Saul Williams, Jessica Care Moore, Mums, and a few other poets on BET’s Planet Groove about five years ago. They were promoting a new CD called Eargasms: Crucialpoetics, Vol. 1. It was the first time I had ever heard or seen spoken word performed before, and I found it to be very exciting. At the time I was about to give birth to my daughter and I was feeling very burnt out from being in graduate school. The spoken word poetry on Planet Groove really inspired me to start writing creatively again. About 2 years later, I saw the writing workshop being offered at the Asian Arts Initiative and the rest is history.

How is it working in a group (as a duo)?
For me personally, what I enjoy about being part of a duo with Catzie is that we really complement each other. We are both individual artists but we are able to merge our different styles, interests, and voices in a way to enhance each other and really make an impact on the audience. So I tend to be the more “serious” one and Catzie tends to be the “funny” one — but those are generalizations because there are times when Catzie is serious and I’m in a light mood. But I think in terms of perception, that’s the way people generally see us. The other thing I really like about being part of a duo is that I share all these really great performance experiences with Catzie — I think touring and performing can be a really lonely experience if you’re on the road alone. When I’m with Catzie, I feel really secure and it.s just nice to have that moral support. I think the whole collaboration process is very challenging, too, in a good way.

Have you met any other half/mixed Koreans/Asians in spoken word?
I have met other mixed-race Asians in spoken word — many of them are Filipino. Mixed-race Koreans are not so numerous — but I have met many adopted Koreans who are involved in spoken word.

Has your ethnic background ever been brought up during shows/events?
Hmm, that’s a complicated question to answer. Well, there are negative and positive ways in which my being mixed-race has been an issue. Once, we were performing at Penn State-Erie and these two girls came up to me after the show. They were sisters — Japanese/Caucasian — and they were practically in tears. They told me how important it was for them to see a mixed-race Asian up on stage declaring my right to be identified as an Asian American, and they told me how the Asian student community on their campus ostracizes them by calling them “white girls” to try to drive them out of Asian student clubs and organizations. That experience really touched me and made me realize that it’s important for me to not only “represent” Asian Americans but mixed-race Asian Americans in particular because we’re not even accepted by other Asians sometimes. Another time, these Asian guys at Drexel University were heckling me and Catzie during a performance, so I confronted them after the show. One of the guys asked me if I was “really” Korean, and when I said yes he put his arm next to mine and compared them. Then he called me a white girl. So I started cursing him out, and his friends started apologizing for him because I think they thought I was going to hit him. So it’s very frustrating sometimes, but I have to do what I do — there’s no question about it for me.

Do you think your ethic background has helped/harmed you in your career?
I don’t know; that’s a difficult question to answer. Sometimes people will advise me to “play up” my ethnicity because “minority” studies are really “hot” these days with multiculturalism courses being added on most college campuses, and I should be able to get a job more readily than a white person, presumably — although it doesn’t really work that way because white people are also seeking degrees in those “minority” areas so they can compete for those jobs too. Anyway, I’ve had people advise me to change my name to a Korean name so my ethnicity won’t be questioned. Then I’ve had people who immediately ask “But you’re half-white, right?” after they’ve seen/heard me perform spoken word poetry that uses Korean language and folksongs. So it cuts both ways. I obviously wouldn’t be doing what I do if I wasn’t of mixed ethnicity — and I’ve heard people say that the main reason Catzie and I do so well is because we fill this niche — but I also think it’s something that’s held against me by members of both the Asian and non-Asian community. If that makes sense…

Have you faced any resistance in spoken word from other ethnic groups and/or Asian Americans?
Well, as far as segregation in the Asian American spoken word community: I think divisions occur along political and regional lines more so than ethnic lines, though there’s that as well. I tend to feel that there’s some distance — not just spatially — between say East Coast artists and West Coast artists. Not that there’s any kind of conflict or animosity — it’s just a different outlook on things sometimes because of regional differences, I think. The tribal mentality thing occurs among Asian Americans as a whole. Though you do have some spoken word groups which are all one ethnicity — like isangmahal and 8th Wonder which are mostly Filipino — I would say, for the most part, the APIA spoken word community is pretty Pan Asian. But Asian America as a whole really needs to work on seeing Koreans, Chinese, Japanese, Filipino, Cambodian, Laotian, Vietnamese, Indian, Samoan, Hmong, Pakistani, etc. as Asian American just like them.
Racial segregation among spoken word artists of other ethnic/racial backgrounds is not much of an issue, though it may be just beneath the surface. On the face of it, artists align themselves as progressive and “of color”, so there’s a lot of open support given to each other. But there are divisions that occur among listeners. Black people have accused Catzie and me of appropriating black culture, particularly hip hop. White people have accused us of reverse racism. Asians have said we are a bad example of Asian America. So when dealing with the public at large, the beliefs people hold are varied and that affects the way they respond to us.

Where is spoken word considered most “popular” or “seen”?
I would say that right now spoken word is a largely urban phenomenon. You can find spoken word venues in many of your major cities around the country. The “Mecca” of spoken word, though, would have to be NYC. It’s also starting to find a base on college campuses as well.

Has there been any interest in signing with a “major” label to distribute your album (or future albums)? I thought I read somewhere that Def Jam is forming a spin-off label specifically for spoken word.
At this time we really don’t have an interest signing with a large label. People may not believe that because they’re thinking about it in terms of money, but there are some things that are more important than money, like artists controlling their own work. We love to be hands-on from beginning to end with our work. We write all our own poetry, we have say in how it’s ordered on our CD, which pieces we want to use, the cover design, photos etc. We wouldn’t want to relinquish our ability to give input to a bunch of “suits” who think they can market us better than we can market ourselves. No one knows else better than ourselves. And believe me, industry people in the spoken word circuit are just as shady as in the music circuit.

What was it like participating in HBO’s Def Poetry Jam? Did you meet Russell Simmons?
I found the experience to be very exciting and nerve-wracking at the same time. We got to meet many cool people and perform with some amazing poets. We also had the opportunity to witness all the preparations that go into making a show like Def Poetry. It was interesting to see all the work the crew did during the day, preparing the stage, testing the lighting and sound, and then see it all come together later during the taping. I think another really exciting part about having been on Def Poetry is the reaction we receive from people who’ve seen us on HBO. It’s always a little funny and surreal that people as far away as Hawai’i have seen us perform and loved us. I mean, Catzie and I don’t really know what to make of it sometimes.
Yes, we met Russell Simmons when we performed for Def Poetry in the 2001 HBO U.S. Comedy Arts Festival. But we’ve only met him once, and he really is not the one who’s doing the organizing and planning and scheduling for the Def Poetry stuff, so we’ve never really had to interact with him.

The poetry on the album covers a whole spectrum of issues, from Asian-American issues to fashion and sweatshops to female empowerment to respect of elders. Was it hard to harness all of these issues into one album while keeping it “on-track”? In my opinion, it seemed to flow seamlessly.
No, that’s just how the album turned out. These were pieces that we’ve written over the last two years and we ordered them in the best way we could to connect pieces and create a nice movement through the CD. Some pieces that people are just discovering now were written over two years ago — like “Woman Flava” and “Listen Asshole” — and they may not necessarily be where Catzie and I are right now in our own day-to-day struggles, but that they still have resonance for so many people two years after they were first written and performed just goes to show how little has changed when it comes to ignorance and discrimination towards Asian Americans. Many of my solo pieces were written around the same time as Catzie’s because we were dealing with similar issues, so pieces dealing specifically about identity and defining identity were being created because that’s what Catzie and I were talking about to each other.
Yes, a volume 2 will be happening sometime. I already have many new solo pieces that I’m performing now that aren’t on our current CD. There’s no set time-table on the next CD though — we’re thinking about book projects and touring first.

Will the next album include any outtakes by you? Catzie’s outtakes were hilarious on the current album.
I doubt there will be any outtakes of me because I rarely mess up. 🙂

Will there be a nationwide tour anytime soon?
We do small tours here and there. We’re looking into a small West Coast tour, but that’s not solidified. But we stay busy and we try to do what we can as far as performing around the country. This fall we’ll be in Virginia, New York, and Hawai’i. Hopefully, next semester we’ll go to Maine and make it out to the California.

PERSONAL

Hobbies/interests (what do you do to relax)?
I like to watch movies, listen to music, and spend time with my family.

Anybody that your respect and/or look up to?
There are lots of people that I respect and look up to. Definitely my family is a great source of support and inspiration. I also am fortunate to be surrounded by many talented and wonderful people who are also my friends. So whether it’s Catzie or Dan and Anula from Asians Misbehavin’, an arts collective I also perform with, or other spoken word artists like Regie Cabico or Omar Telan or 2 Tongues or Bao Phi, I learn a great deal from them and receive wonderful feedback and inspiration. I’ve recently been greatly inspired by artists in other mediums, such as Kevin So (singer/songwriter/musician) and Maura Nguyen Donohue and In Mixed Company (dance/multimedia). I really could go on and on about all the wonderful people I’ve met and been touched by.

Do you think the KA community is accepting of half/mixed Koreans (in general)?
Well, I think that’s a pretty tricky topic. I think maybe the KA community is more accepting now, or they seem to be on the surface, but there have been many times in my life where I have felt KAs really don’t consider me to be Korean. I have been used as an example in the past by parents for both how they want their children to be (excellent students, good English speakers, generally Americanized) and how they don’t want them to be (again, generally Americanized). I also think that something we often ignore or don’t want to talk about as being a problem in our community is racism. I mean, I understand the concern to preserve culture and people have very specific ideas about how that’s supposed to happen, but I think sometimes people can be very mean to others who don’t seem to fit their criteria of what “Koreanness” is, and that usually starts with appearance and language.

Have you run into any resistance (or non-acceptance) from the KA community (and/or Asian community), being half?
Admittedly, I’m self-conscious about being mixed race and how I’m being read as a result. And I also concede that maybe much of that self-consciousness speaks more to my own anxieties than anything really tangible as far as how I’m being treated. But I also think that I don’t imagine some resistance and I do feel that it takes a little more for me to “prove” myself to full-Asians who are not adopted. I mean, when I’m being called a “white girl” by other Asians that’s a real experience just as much as the pain I feel when it’s happening.

Do you hang out/visit Koreatown much?
There are a couple of areas in Philly that are major KA communities. One is up near the Northeast (part of the city) around 5th and Olney. Then right outside of West Philly there’s a section called Upper Darby, and a lot of Koreans live and work there. I used to hang out in Upper Darby a lot — I used to be involved in the KA community there, tutoring KA children and working for this summer camp. I don’t hang out there anymore — since I’ve had my daughter, I’ve stayed away, partly because I just don’t have time, partly because I just got tired of feeling like an outsider, and partly because I had a child out of wedlock and the father was African American. So, you know, all of that just doesn’t sit well with Koreans.

Any preferences in dating and/or marriage? What kind of person are you attracted to (Korean? Half/Mixed?), or does it not matter?
I’m in a long-term relationship (10 years!) with the father of my daughter, and he is African American. During our relationship, we have taken “breaks” from one another and dated other people, and I have dated Asians and mixed race men during those times, but we’ve always ended up back together. I think in a perfect world, I probably would really like being with someone who is full Asian or mixed race Asian — but oftentimes that’s more an ideal than reality. Reality is that people are individuals, and not everyone is going to click just because they’re the same race. So I think though it’s good to have the ideal in mind, we also have to be realistic and recognize when we’ve found someone really special, regardless what race they are.

As a long time fan of hip hop, I really enjoyed your hip hop tribute track, so I assume you are into hip hop. Who are some of your favorite artists?
My favorite hip hop artists are Lauryn Hill, Nas, Tupac, Common, Biggie, The Roots. Back in the days when I was young, I really enjoyed EPMD, KRS-One, LL Cool J, Salt-n-Pepa. I’m not into commercial hip hop anymore; I don’t even know what’s playing on the radio. I really hate that junk.

I see. I definitely agree — I cannot stand a lot of the bullsh!* that is on heavy rotation these days (ahem.. Nelly.. ahem..). Philly has such a rich history in hip hop with artists like DJ Jazzy Jeff (and the “Fresh Prince” Will Smith), DJ Cash Money, etc..
Are you into the current Philly hip hop scene (like The Roots, Mountain Brothers, etc.. or even commercial artists like Eve and Beanie Sigel)?
I think Eve and Beanie Sigel have their places in the hip hop moment, and I think they’re fun artists, but I don’t really listen to them. I like The Roots but don’t think they get enough respect. And though I have an awareness of APIA hip hop artists like Mountain Brothers and Organic Thoughts (based in North Jersey), I don’t really listen to them. When I want to listen to hip hop I take out Nas or Lauryn Hill, whether it’s one of her solo CDs or “The Score” by The Fugees. And sometimes I get in moods for Common and Tupac.

Do you get on the internet often?
I don’t really get on the internet for anything unless I have to search for something or to check my email.

How do you feel about other prominent half Koreans (Hines Ward, Amerie, Lindsay Price, etc.), have you met any of them?
On the one hand it makes me feel good, but on the other hand, I question whether what they do furthers an awareness about being mixed race or even just Korean. I mean, I’m not sure about this because I haven’t read extensively about them in articles or interviews, but I get the sense that Hines Ward and Amerie identify themselves more as being black than mixed race or Korean. So I think their success is being attributed as an accomplishment for one of their races over the other — and definitely not seen as a happy union between the two races — you know what I mean? But that may be their choice — I think we all have a right to be identified however we want based on the consciousness we have about our lives, so I really can’t question their life experiences because I haven’t lived them.

Any words that you would like to pass on to other half/mixed Koreans/Asians?
I think it’s important for anyone who is mixed race to remember that, ultimately, you have the power to define yourself despite what labels society tries to impose upon you. Once you recognize and claim that power, it really doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks or says.

Any words/thoughts about HalfKorean.com?
I think HalfKorean.com is a great site, and it provides an opportunity for mixed race Koreans to connect and build a community. So I think it’s a great service for those of us who always felt we were the only one who was being treated as an anomaly.

Well, thank you for your time and allowing HalfKorean.com to conduct this interview with you. We wish you much success in your future endeavors. Good luck and talk to you again soon!

Be sure to check out the Yellow Rage album, Black Hair, Brown Eyes, Yellow Rage, Vol. 1, available through the yellowrage.com website.

Interview by: David Lee Sanders

Posted: 10/16/2002

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